Taste of Chloe

For as long as I can remember life has been kicking me over, stepping on my chest and keeping me down.

   For as long as I can remember, I have been a fighter.
( No surprise to anyone how violent I am.  Honestly, who can blame me? )

I grew up alienated.

If it wasn't from being the only 'American'.  It was for my strange social behaviors, perhaps even my learning disabilities.  Kids are awful.  I guess I just thought it was the norm.
I mean, goodness IT IS THE NORM.

I could list for days the struggles I've been through, but I guess eventually they will one by one come up in my blogging. I will name the twisted teachers, awful students & absolutely pitiful excuses for adults I've faced in my life. I will tell you about my views, my beliefs and WHY I stand so strongly for them. I will come off as a sociopath, and you will understand just why society made me this way.
   You might even come to find.  YOU WILL AGREE.

If you don't though... no shocker to me, the majority of the world is unbelievably unintelligent.


I have decided to write because I have hit my boiling point.  I am extremely frustrated with life.
What did I do in my past that would have caused this? I mean, maybe along the line I really must have ticked the wrong person off and I've been sent back over and over to correct this--- but instead creating the same person?  This is actually why I don't act on the things I SO desperately want to act on.  Why I fantasize.  It really bothers me that people get away with the things they do...
The system is so flawed, I want it to crash so so so badly.

Righteous anger is what my mother calls it.  I call it ancestral bloodthirst. (passion).

 I am constantly fighting between two people.  One is rabid.  One would simply take absolute pleasure in running over --- god, a full list of people.  ( I wish death notes were real)
 The other is like a monk - or nun? God fulfilling, FULL of love-  and really has no understanding of the rabid one fighting to take over.

I feel nuts.  I can FEEL when they switch, and I feel guilty as hell for my thoughts when I switch back.

  I do believe it's a coping mechanism, and I do believe you will be hearing from both the more you read and keep up with my posts.
  I promise you. The bloodthirsty one is the fun one, -- just don't go looking for her.

 The Good one, I've named her Chloe...  and you can trust her and her advice. She's been searching for the light for years.  SHE wants to be wholesome and live a wholesome life - even if she has to go by her real name.  

I think you're supposed to name the  'evil' alter ego though, right?  I screwed up there.